How disgusting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had an “Aalia” moment this morning down in the ladies suq…(sorry Aalia, but all ur experiences of creepo guys  bothering u is currently ringing in my ears!)

Anyway, I took my son down to the ladies suq this morning to pick an abayaah up that I had specially tailored for a sister and some niqabs for another sister (orders from my Arabian Threads store) and Ive gone down there a lot, both with my son and alone in the evening and have never had a problem!  I had on a large bisht abayaah, long shaylah and a full-on boushiyyah(gashwah) so nothing could be seen of me, not even my eyes. (I know clothing doesn’t really matter, phreaks will be phreaks but here generally girls who want to be “noticed” dress in snug abayaahs or have a flirty appearance about them) My son was holding my 1 hand, happily eating a lollipop. So we’re walking and you know, because I’m ghetto I notice everything…well I noticed out of the corner of my eye this white car moving slowly beside us and heard in low tones some guy saying something incomprehensible in Arabic. Obviously I ignored it.

So we took a turn and another turn and I felt we lost the phreako…so I went into the shop and proceeded to ask the guy  behind the counter for the niqabs I wanted and waited while he had the tailor altered one of them. My son sat on a chair and then suddenly this Saudi dude comes in and stands by the front of the store. I moved aside assuming the phreako wanted to ask the shop-keeper something or pick up a purchase. So I move to the back of the store to check out this abayaah I had eyed the last time I was there and the phreako goes back there too and proceeds to say something to me in Arabic and basically stares me down, standing WAY too close. So then he said to me in Arabic “I’ll buy it for you”…I couldnt understand really, but his gestures said it all. I got really freaked out and said “I can’t understand Arabic, what the hell do u want?”
I then ignored him, he then went back to the front of the store and I started to worry, oh no, this phreako better not try to pay for the niqabs…because I’ll hafta kick his @ss,since I’d rather not have to go there , I wanted to pay for the niqabs and then leave, pick up another item at another shop and then come back later for the niqabs. Well, I think the phreako sensed I was trying to do a get-away, so he came back up to me and said in Arabic along with gestures “gimme ur phone number”…at this I got SO angry…
Needless to say, I don’t play that…I screamed my head off at the phreak…the poor tailor, he almost sewed his hand. I looked up at the guy and scream “get the hell away from me, you nasty phreak…how dare u, I aint some *****!” I then remembered some Arabic and screamed at him “inta ayb, inta kuffar” and then got out my cell to pretend make a call and screamed even louder, I’m gonna call my big, bad @ss husband to come down here and kick ur @ss,  and started to bend down to get my shoe to throw at the waste of life when he scurried out, jumped in his car and left. alhamdullah!
After he left, I was shaking, totally shaking from anger!…

The audacity! How presumptuous!!! How disgusting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thats just REALLY jacked up! Ive never had that happen in the US (after all, only a jacked up crackhead will actually approach a hijabi/niqabi) and in Iran…forget it, never!

I leave u all with…auzhoobillahi min ash-shaytan ar-rajeem


25 thoughts on “How disgusting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  1. That is so disgusting!!! Eugh! Good thing you yelled and made a scene, that probably would’ve been the only thing to get him to move.
    And I know what you mean re men not approaching niqabis in other countries. I was in Bahrain, with my FIL and my MIL and two SILs wearing a loose abaya and long hijab + niqab and then I look across the street and there is this old Saudi man who looks me up and down and then proceeds to *lick* his lips euuuuggghhhh. I don’t get it. What is it with these men?? I’m from Australia and just wearing a hijab down the street gets the men running *away* not to me!
    Then again, husband has had a few bad experiences with Saudi women too… we were in a mall once and a woman actually threw her number at him 😐 I’d prefer that than a down right creep though.

    Alhamdulillah you are okay and you knew what to do.

  2. “I love that you can take a girl out of the ghetto but, can’t take “all” of the ghetto out of the girl”…lol

    Guys can be so gross & I love that you were about to throw your shoe at him…I’m assuming you were aiminig for his head 😛

    We live in the states & like Ellen In AU, all it takes here is to wear hijab & they mostly act like their scared to look at you…lol..or they are extra nice & hold door for you

    G-d Bless

    • Oh heck yeah and I’m a good shot too…just ask my husband. Shoe throwing is the ultimate insult in Persian culture and it works pretty well globally as well. Although I am very glad that phreako scurried out though before I had to get downright physical. My husband was outraged that the shopkeeper and tailor didnt stand up for me and tell the guy to leave. I kind of agree with him, after I left I remember thinking how strange and “un-manly” that was…not that I really needed their assistance (I can take care of myself, usually)…but like, I donno, usually men will get involved or try to stand up for a “lady in distress”…and here in KSA you’d think that would be more so.

      Hopefully that’ll be the first and ONLY time that occurs!

      • As Salaamu alaiki,
        Funny thing is this does happen in the U.S. But I think it depends on where you live. I agree it’s quite unmanly for men to see a woman being annoyed by a man and then they don’t do anything. But sometimes it’s like you don’t know if the two know each other and are fighting or what. Or just not thinking clearly to react to what you see. Allaahu ‘Alam
        Reminds me of the saying
        “Dont depend on anyone, because even your shadow leaves you when your in darkness”

    • Men in the USA have a fascination/fantasy with covered women. Or, they hate you…the terrorist association thing. But the fantasy goes with the idea that you are a virginal, innocent, untouched woman and revives their imagination back to the time when American women were mostly virgins until marriage and their secret desire to have a woman whom is their’s alone. Unfortunately, while most men have adapted to the fact that women, today, are going to come with a little experience when they marry them, that leaves the men that are left with the fantasy thing, are the freaks that want to own and control you – part of their “untouched” fantasy.

      • Yes this might be true of “some” men in the West, but what happened to me with the phreako…was here in Saudi Arabia NOT the USA and since the vast majority of women in Saudi Arabia wear niqab guys here don’t really have the same fascination with it, Ive rationalized that the Saudi guys that follow women and proposition them, like that scumbag that did so towards me are immature and disgusting and unfortunately the strict segregation between the sexes make this even worse than it should be, because the men that do this get obsessed with getting contact-any contact with a female…regardless of how married or covered she might me. Its really sad and pathetic actually.

    • I wonder if Saudi women scream and shout when insulted and pissed off…I have to go ask one of my Saudi friends…

  3. Wow, I’m shocked that this happened to you considering how you were dressed and the fact that your son was with you. Just sick!
    I think you handled it pretty well for being put on the spot. I’ll try the shoe trick if i ever find myself in a similar situation with an Arab man, but InshaAllah I won’t ever have to.

  4. wow you had me on the edge of my seat reading this post! Good for you!! 🙂
    Inshallah it wont happen again. I wonder if these guys get a thrill harassing women and maybe that’s why they have the audacity to do it. YUCK.. they are so freaky.

    • alas, it’s not just “thrill” of harassment…that guy was quite serious. Unfortunately this seems to be a problem here. it’s def. NOT right, but the guy thinks…I’ll buy her an abayaah, she’ll give me her number OR give me something else and it’s a “win-win” situation. Disgusting mentality, but obviously there ARE married women with kids who would have taken the creepo up on his offer…why else would he have done that? To me, it’s incomprehensible and goes against every fiber of my being for a man to proposition a married woman and esp one whose out with a child let alone one so covered…BUT…there are sick and sad people out there.

      A few of my husbands Bahraini friends told him that it’s not unheard of for a husband to go to Bahrain, dump his wife off at a hotel, go have haraam “fun” and the wife then in turn has her own very haraam ‘fun”. Bahraini guys KNOW this and some hang around the hotels for this very reason. After seeing what I saw today, frankly…i’m not surprised.

      …and it’s funny…I seriously thought I had “seen” it all…um, guess not!


  5. I’ve heard of this happening in Saudi but Alhamdulillaah it didn’t to me; I have had it happen in the UK though, I’ve had problems of brothers stalking me on a number of occasions, and when I was pregnant with my eldest I used to go to this Islamic store and this brother working there was always trying to chat with me, then I was in full niqab with my eldest as a baby and this old Pakistani guy did that lip-licking and wink thing to me; yuck! I was clearly struggling with my baby in a stroller. I have been told though that in some countries the women who are up for some haram action or who are actually prostitutes; tend to dress more modestly than usual to avoid drawing attention to their activities; and then freakazoids like the one you ran into; think that all sisters dressed like that; are like that, or if not then they will take a chance and may get ‘lucky’, idiots.

  6. Wow! just Wow! Maybe it’s true what they say about a society where woman aren’t really “seen” the men are agressive and desperate for female attention. yours is not the first story that I’ve heard:(

  7. I had an Indian or Pakistani guy approach me in a mall and I wound up saying very loudly, “Who are you?! I don’t know you!”. He mumbled something and scooted off, and one of the security guards was approaching in any case.I always felt relatively protected in malls in the UAE. The security guards, men and women, would quietly check out any interaction in which a woman was approached by a man. There is definitely a seedy underside to the UAE. Women security guards appeared overnight after a child was raped in a women’s restroom in one of the Al Ain malls. No male guard could go in to check it out. After that it was about 50% very competent female guards.

    I would expect that no clerk would get between a Saudi man and his prey for fear of losing his visa.

  8. OMG!! girl, I would have done the same thing!
    I usually don’t go out without my husband (I’m starting to think it’s to avoid these type of incedents) but he gave specific instructions. Yell “Aaysh tebby ya kelb” (loosly translates into “What do you want dog”) or say in English “I will call my American embassy and have you thrown into Guantanamo” (appearantly Saudi’s have a slight phobia when it comes to Guantanamo).

    • aww thanks for the Arabic sentence! En’shallah such a nasty thing won’t even happen again…I think I might stick to hittin the ladies suq after Isha’a when the Mutawwah tend to be out and guys are scared to do this stuff.

  9. you handled it like a pro…i noticed EVERYTHING too, it’s a gift and a curse. i live and work in afghansitan and just the staring, the sleeeezy energy they give off, drives me mad, which isn’t even close to what happened to you. my fiance says, well why are you looking around so much, to which i say, does it matter ? they shouldn’t be looking at me like that. It’s not that he wont defend me, he has, but u don’t know out here who is connected to who and who is armed and ready to fight..but i’ve got that hot, take-no-bs, iranian blood flowing in my veins so i some times, when i’m without him, and i just can’t take it, i look at them dead in the eyes and say “what??!!?” (basically, get ghetto with it) And generally, as far as i have witnessed, Afghan ladies don’t make big scenes to defend them selves, because instead of shaming the guy it would result in bring shame on themselves. seriously that’s the thinking. It happened to me once, I was in a POLICE STATION and one of the police officers groped me and ran. I immediately went into his supervisors office, screaming about what he did, and he said to me “are you sure your not making this up? think carefully.” I was shocked! luckily a more senior commander had been standing outside so he defended me, but i couldn’t even believe the 1st guy tried shame me into silence like that!

    • Wow thats seriously, seriously disturbing the mentality that if a woman is groped or bothered it is HER fault. Ya Allah! Thats insane! Thats why in those cultures men can act like vultures and women are always the victims! God help them and guide them! en’shallah

      You know, this got me thinking…in Iran I can only remember *one* time when a similar thing happened, I was on a bus in Tehran and I felt what I assumed was a lady bumping into me (since I was on the womans side of the bus, but right at the divider between men and women-it was packed/rush hour) well, what got me thinking…okay this isnt a lady is because…it just kept going on not like 1-2 bumps and a fekr mikonam….it dawned on me that it’s a DUDE bumping against me…eww…and RIGHT as I was getting ready to turn around, face him, scream at him and punch him some guys around him noticed what was going on, grabbed him, punched him, threw him off the bus and then half the men on the guy got off to jump his @ss. My husband was 1 foot away from me but was oblivious to what was going on as neither of us assumed this stuff went on…on a sexually segregated bus! Thats how it ought to be! Those men noticed and probably taught him a good lesson! Yeah,the mentalities and attitudes between the Arabs here and Iranians are like about a bazillion light years apart, Iranian women are loud, aggressive when they need to be and don’t take no kr@p and the men will jump to help a woman being bothered. I am truly shocked that in Afghanistan, which IS a Persian culture that a woman would be shamed for speaking up…maybe the mentality stems from how tribal they still are. I donno…

  10. you hit the nail on the head; in Afghanistan it’s the over arching domination of Pashtu tribalism where it comes from, that really a woman shouldn’t even be out of the house anyway, let alone allow her self to be in a position where a man could do something to her, so shame on her for being out there. Of course not everyone is like this, and I doubt it would go down like this in the Hazara communities. And actually it was the commander, who was a big proud pashtu, who backed me up. The rest of my story is that after the stupid jerk supervisor tried to mind trick me, the commander i mentioned ran and found the junior officer and dragged him (literally, by his ear) back to a bigger boss’s office. Then they made me come in and ID him, and i did, as the junior guy screamed, “she’s a liar!” and then the big boss started to beat him, in front of me! The whole thing was just crazy, so I just ran out and left the station. That same night, the big boss came to my house for dinner and apologized “on behalf of the entire police department” for my treatment. I heard from another source the junior guy was put in jail for the night. So yea there was a little justice, but would the same thing had happened to him if i wasn’t a foreigner with some influential Afghan ties, if I was just an average woman? I’d like to think so, but my gut, sadly, tells me no….

  11. Oh wow, that’s terrible! What the heck is wrong with those creeps???! If I ever visit over there, I’ll carry my pepper spray at all times! Inshallah it never happens to you again!!

  12. In Abu Dhabi this guy in a white Mustang was stalking us (Boxie, Aalia, Gamly, baby Abood, and me in an overhead abaya and niqab) while the adhan was playing. I was getting impatient with guys like this and this had been my seventh stalker that day (women cannot walk alone in abayat without being stalked at the malls) and he kept slowing down as he circled us, lowering his window, speaking in Arabic to us, playing is music, leaning out to speak to us. The other night before walking home from Pizza hut another creeper in a white car had been following me so I took off my sandal and hit his car with my wedge. This time I had expensive shoes on so I found an empty pop can on the side of the road and threw it at White Mustang, yelling, “Ayb!!!!“. Then White Mustang called the cops on me, and if I didn`t apologise to him, they`d take me to the station. I said, I am not apologising, arrest me. The guy told ME to find my religion. I laughed. A week later an American friend went to the movies with a Morrocan aquaintance and her `cheating`(I had the text messages from said Morrocan`s cell) boyfriend at the mall. Boyfriend turned out to be White Mustang. American and White Mustang recognized eachother, and American apologized for `my“ misunderstanding. THEN American apologized to ME later, because White Mustang kept grabbing HER butt!!!!!!! while watching the movie with is girlfriend. I don`t care if they jail me, I am CRUSHING HIS CAR the next time I see it. I`ll buy a car just to crash it into that thing, LOL.

  13. As salaamu alaikum. Subhaan Allaah sister Umm Ibrahim, I admire you for your courage to give him an earful. These kind of men need to be put in their place.
    I admit if that was me I wouldn’t have had the guts to shout at the top of my lungs, but would have tried my best to avoid the pervert or pretend I didn’t know what he wanted and say to him, “I don’t speak Arabic” and ignore him after that.
    The fact that you signalled you were about to chuck your shoe at him -that’s classic! Lol maashaa’ Allaah. I am definitely going to remember that tactic for the future. Throwing the shoe in Arab culture is seen as something which is very degrading and shaming to the one being attacked with the shoe -lol. So thumbs up -he deserved to at least know your shoe-sole was about to meet his forehead.
    It definitely makes you feel angrier when it’s a Muslim man that approaches you with fitnah than a non-muslim. May Allaah recitify our affairs -aameen.

    • Yeah, its also offensive in Persian culture too…LOL…I kinda wish the dork had stayed so I really could have seen my shoe hit him in the face. Would have served the perv right!

  14. Asalamulakum, FYI while I’ve never been out of the US, most of my friends have and most have them have heard of stuff like this happening. In Egypt about 10 years ago prostitutes, or was it Yemen, I forget, they would wear a certain style overhead abaya and so the poor American sisters not knowing any better would wear the style and be harassed.

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