Maids, Nannies and why I think they are mostly unnecessary!

Alrighty, another little “slice of life” post…I know I’ll probably get my head chewed off for this one, but Ive reached a point where I just MUST let the maid/nanny situation here be known as most westerners just wouldn’t believe it!

So of course, let me first state the obvious. I’m not AGAINST nannies and maids in general, but I think they are unnecessary in the vast majority of home situations here! Obviously there are some families where maids or nannies are really necessary like if both parents work full time in very stressful jobs and have kids and they want to be able to actually enjoy their children and not come home after working all day and then be stuck cooking and cleaning (esp if they can afford it!) or families where the mother or someone is very ill or has health problems and a maid is needed to assist in taking care of things, or the family has many children and one has health problems then obviously the nanny helps in those cases.

But, unfortunately this is NOT the general scenario. My take on it is that most people who have maids and nannies are…I donno, dare I say… plain lazy (ducks flying shoes)!

Also the whole maid/nanny thing has helped ensure that children grow up having NO responsibility, allowing women who generally don’t work  at all, to basically just sleep all day and then wake up around 4pm to go out shopping and socializing and ofcourse individuals from *certain* countries are treated really, really poorly.

Before you jump on my case let me give you my feelings about why to ME it looks like this.

First maids…

Having a maid here is as common as having a black abaya hanging in your closet! Almost everyone has one, even many Lebanese and Middle Eastern ex-pat families! In many cases having a maid = being well off! The house might look like crud, the family might actually be not very well off, BUT they will HAVE a maid!

Now, the average made gets paid around 1,000 riyals a month! Thats like less than $300 a month! Granted, the maid usually lives with the family, eats their food…but for toiling from sun-up to sun down and probably sending most of it to their home country…eeks thats nothing!

Generally religious Saudi and expat families try to get an Indonesian maid as they are Muslim, but families who dont care either way get Filipina maid. Generally Indonesians are paid a bit better, maybe even treated a bit better.

But, they are still maids! Anyway you slice it, they are maids! Now, ive spoken to some Saudi women and they have told me the reason why maids are so necessary is because most people have fairly big villas or houses and that the men want their houses to be spotless, plus they usually have a lot of guests over so having a maid ensures everything is clean and running smoothly. Well, to that I said, okay and, most of the families here are quite big so what about having the older children/teenagers help to keep the house clean? like you know, give 1 child a chore, another child another chore…etc etc. I got tsked on this suggestion and told that children shouldnt be cleaning, they should be playing/studying…thats what maids are for.

Um, yah. gee, my parents must of missed this advice when I was growing up because all the cleaning in the house was done by my mom and me…and yah, as a teenager I resented it. But as an adult, I’m thankful I did all those chores as it’s made me quite capable of doing things now, as an adult.

Also, maids are generally treated in a really gruff and rude manner! In some of the homes Ive been too, I was shocked to see the mother or the daughter yelling at the maid to do this, that, get this, get that. In one home I started to inquire about the maid, her schedule, everything, including how she is so fluent in Arabic. The response I got…oh these Indonesian maids are like devils! They come here and learn Arabic too quickly! They are devils.

Um, okay…gee, I wish I could learn a language that fast! My husband told me on the way home, well that just goes to show, the maid is probably extremely intelligent but because she was born poor couldnt live up to her real potential. So she’s a “devil” for being smart, savvy and becoming fluent in Arabic in only two years! *strokes chin*

Also in above house, it would have just been easier for the daughter who was yelling at the maid to get up, off the sofa and go to the kitchen and help her get everything instead of screaming for this, that…The entire time we were there, neither the mother or the daughter got up to get anything. It was pretty unfathomable to my husband and I. During one discussion one of the sons broke a glass and they all sat on the sofa screaming for the maid to come in and clean it up…did they bother to get up and start picking up the bigger chunks or make an effort to help? um…nope.  I got up and helped the maid get up all the glass. I’m thinking to myself….this is unreal! I just didn’t feel comfortable having some poor girl crawling around at my feet picking up glass while I go on, drinking coffee and talking. It just doesn’t seem right.

So yah, having a maid essentially means the mother and the kids and of course the husband dont need to do anything around the house….which means the kids dont learn how to clean up after themselves! As adults they expect people to wait on them hand and foot. One evening a month ago my husband and I were in a Dunkin’ Doughnuts and a Saudi couple were sitting near us and the husband proceeded to bump his coffee off the table, onto the floor, wasting everything and breaking the cup. He just sat there and called for the guy behind the counter to come over and clean it up. he didnt apologize, he didnt try to help. He sat there whil the guy tried to clean up everything at his feet. Needless to say, dh and I were horrified.

Youd think given the reality that most women do NOT work and stay home…you’d think maids would not be necessary. After all, you’re home anyway. Whats so difficult about cleaning and doing the cooking and doling out chores to the kids? Its what moms around the world do. Yah, it does bite to clean day after day, and I hate cleaning as much as the next person…but it must be done. This has meant that women who don’t work have in turn nothing to do all day. Now, if your kids are all at school and yous maid is doing everything…what do you do all day? Hmmm…TV, shop, eat…hmmm? Many Saudi friends have told me that most women sleep allllllllllll day!

Expat women on compounds are not different! On our compound ALL the Lebanese and Palestinian women have maids and the maids do double duty as nanny. So not only do they clean all day but in the evening take care of the kids too! What do the women do…sit on each others porches and socialize while the maids/nannies run after their kids. One woman who I especially am not fond of will walk around the compound with her maid/nanny trailing 10 feet behind her carrying all her stuff to the pool. Going the mall is the same. It seems like they try to outdo each other with this stuff! Oh and dont get me started on how the lady downstairs screams at their Filipina maid all night. Poor girl. Oh and generally compound housing is pretty small so where they fit 5 kids, a maid and themselves is beyond me!

As far as maids are concerned…I just think they are extremely unnecessary!

Nannies are equally overused. If you go to the mall you see nannies, nannies, nannies everywhere!

When the parents walk around the 1-2 nannies they have trails after them corralling all their kids, in the eating areas the parents eat in quiet while the nanny/nannies are running after the kids, trying to get them to eat and maybe even eat themselves, OR better yet you see a young mother with all kinds of shopping bags in hands with a nanny trailing -yes trailing after her pushing a stroller with a baby in it! No wonder these kids grow up more attached their their nanny than to their parents! Its also not uncommon for these kids to know Indonesian or Tagalog fluently as children before becoming fluent in Arabic! They moms essentially hand over all child rearing to their nannies!

These are also not just rich families either, nannies are extremely popular and poorer families will make the maid do double duty. Although in one family we know, the mom told me the maid was “stupid and irresponsible” and couldnt be trusted with the children, so she cares for them herself. I thought…hey, smart maid! act stupid so you dont get stuck with the kids too!

Or better yet, you see mom with nothing in her hands with the nanny holding bags and holding a baby. Nice huh.

The whole nanny thing just makes me really, really sad. What kind of a mom is going to let someone else care for her kids and raise them? Ive heard from some Saudi’s that the extremely reliance on maids has made children feel alienated by their parents and has broken their bond. Its truly sad and heartbreaking…also because of nannies and the child having someone who caters to their every whim, many of the children with nannies behave really outrageous in public. The nannies cant scold them so kids run wild.

sigh…

I’ll end this post here. I hope I haven’t offended anyone, but I just find the whole nanny/maid thing extremely heartbreaking and really sad. I just think they do more harm than good!

***********

Argh, I wanted to add a few more thoughts…Since I wrote the above post while I was also cooking dinner, I forgot to add them in.

Recently I read an article here about a woman in Riyadh who was divoricing her husband because he could NOT afford to give her a maid and a driver? Apparently this woman was/is pregnant with the husbands child and have children from a previous marriage and when she married him specified in her marriage contract that he must give her a personal salary of 3,000 SR (like $800-900) and extra money for the salaries of a maid and a driver OR he would have to help around the house. Her husband who it seems is not well off was working and was unable to afford to afford these extra expenses was in debt to his family as each month he had to borrow to make ends meet. I guess eventually it came to a head where he just realized he could not afford all that! So she has divorced him stating that he hasn’t met his promises.

Hmmm, I shant say anymore because…geeze, i could write an essay.

ahem.

I wanted to also add that it is possible to hire a maid or a nanny on an occasional use basis. like for example if both parents work stressful jobs and want someone to come in for a few hours every day to clean up or have a nanny come to watch the baby while the parents work, as an alternative to daycare. To me, that situation is rather ideal and is pretty win-win.

Okay, really I shall end here!

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28 thoughts on “Maids, Nannies and why I think they are mostly unnecessary!

  1. That was a great post with a deep insight. And though I haven’t lived in Saudi, I totally agree with you. Especially with regards to the manner in which maids are treated, just one word, its disgusting! Utterly disgusting.

  2. I find the whole concept strange. I can see having someone come in for child care if you really work that much, but a stay-at-home wife not doing her own work and child care is just plain lazy.
    How long has this culture been popular in Saudi and the UAE? I think the teens and kids now are the the first generation to have grown up being raised primarily by someone other than the parents. I see this creating huge social problems as these kids become parents themselves. Sad.

    • Yah, to me its a foreign concept too! After all…they ARE your children. If you can give birth to them you can certainly care for them. But hey, if you have some low-paid worker to do everything…geeze, why not. *shakes head sadly*.

      No, it’s actually now 1-2 generations who have been raised with maids and nannies. As I said, even POOR Saudi families will have nannies and yes this does create huge problems because not only is the marriage age here rather young…but then you have these young men and women, most still teenagers (16/17) marrying, having the requisite child after 1 year and NOT knowing a dang thing about how to care for them!

      Infact many women from all social strata write into their marriage contract and negotiate that their husband will give them a maid, nanny and a driver!

  3. I agree that some people are just lazy as hell!!! I used to be an au-pair in Italy and I took care of the kids (which were spawns of satan) clean the house which was huge, all while the mom sat on her butt or went to the gym! The very day I arrived, within the first hour she left me with the kids!!! She didnt even know me. I would love to have help with the kids and the house, but more like a helper not a maid. If I were to have a maid(which im not against) it would be more like a partnership. Sometimes I have a lady come to help me with laundry( I loathe laundry!). We sit together and talk while we fold and put away the clothes. It is just not fair not to have respect for someone who helps you(or in their cases basically runs the household). There is a Saudi family here we are friends with. They have a maid who they brught with them here. She is like a second mother and is best friends with the mother. The family adores her. She is treated as family, she has been with them at least 20 years. My husband said in Iraq most people have a maid also. They are treated very well. A lot of times my husbands mom would have someone come help her with the house even though she didnt need help. She would do it just because she knew these women needed income and wanted to help them.

    • Rena, what your describing is quite normal and not upsetting. Women have always been helping each other out as far as housekeeping and childrearing is concerned and having someone come over to help is perfectly good. Especially if your helping out someone who really really needs the money. But this isnt the way its done here. Of course there ARE exceptions to what im talking about. Ive heard of some Saudi families who treat their maids like members of the family, let them each with them, help them to save up their money so once their contract ends they can go to school and make something better out of their lives, etc etc. As I said, there are always exceptions.

  4. I, too, agree that the shagalla (arabic name for maid/nannie) is treated as if they are a third class person. My ex Saudi fiance told me a story about a friend of his who was so inconsiderate to his driver/butler. He thought nothing of calling his “man” on his cell phone, in the man’s bedroom and waking him up in the middle of the night to come to the maglis to change the TV channel for him while he was sitting on the couch with all his Shabab (friends) around him. Now, this man had been working all day long since sun up serving this man. And, the worst part was waking the man up several times a night to change the channel or serve tea was a big joke to him. Luckily, my ex fiance was the type that was disgusted with this behavior. In his home, they had several long time shagalla and a driver who were all treated respectfully. But they thought nothing of holding their pay for six months at a time. Once when the mother, two sons and my fiance came to the US for medical treatment, they brought a Filipina shagalla with them because she spoke some English. They, of course, held her passport. She managed to escape out the window one night and was never seen again. While she was in the hospital taking care of mom, she had made contact with some Filipino hospital workers and they picked her up that night that she fled out the window minus everything she brough with her and her passport. Left all her pay behind, too. When you think about it, it’s common to hold pay for three to six months at a time so the dependent family back home suffers, too. But on the other hand, this family was kind in other ways to their male workers at their company. If they were ill, my ex fiance’s family would send them home to have a surgery or get medical treatment and they would pay for the medical treatment of their family members, too. So, there are exceptions to the rule. But I remember him telling me that I was too nice to her. He said that if you are too nice, the shagalla will steal or take advantage of you. So, that was his explanation why they didn’t get too close to them or why they seemed to be gruff in how they dealt with them. But he had very kind words and compliments for the cook as she had learned how to prepare the family’s favorite dishes perfectly. But let’s be honest. If I could hire a full time worker for $300 a month, I think I probably would take advantage. But I sure wouldn’t treat them rudely as that just isn’t how we treat people in our (Western) culture that work for us. The Golden Rule sits in the back of our mind. I totally agree that these generations are going to have a problem if their economy drops to the point that they can’t afford help because none of them know how to care for their homes, cars and children. My ex finance used to tell me that Saudi women are very spoiled and it was hard to find a wife that didn’t demand everything or would throw a fit if she didn’t get what she wanted. But I have to admit that I am guilty because in my marriage contract, I, too, asked for a cook, nanny, maid and driver, along with other things like that I could go home at least once a year, I would only have one child, and I could work if I wanted, too. We kept in touch for twelve years after we broke up so he told me all about the two women he ended up marrying. The first one was so spoiled and demanding that on their honeymoon he never bedded her and divorced her upon coming home. To punish him, she spread rumors that he was unable to fillfull her needs as a husband, if you get my drift. That caused some problems for him to find a second wife. But eventually, he did and she is a very nice lady who is educated, a school teacher and he is happy. I have to admit that I am satisfied with how the situation turned out because while at the time I would have been happy to live in Saudia, but at this point in time, I don’t think I would have been as happy with the life style now. No amount of household help can make you happy if you are not able to enjoy the lifestyle.

  5. I’ve heard a lot about how poorly the maids are treated, it’s really sad. I don’t get it either, if the mom stays at home, why does she need a maid or nanny? Her children need her to take care of them, not someone else. It’s really sad.
    If the maid is treated properly and the woman really does need the help, that’s fine. But otherwise I agree with you and think it’s unnecessary and sad.

  6. I don’t think I could *ever* have a maid. The most I would have is a woman coming like, once a week to help me wash the floors or someone coming to mow the lawn (can you tell that’s what I hate the most hahah). My Saudi MIL doesn’t have one either and her house is spotless – so I definitely agree with what you’re saying: if you’re not working then you *do* have the time to put a bit of effort into your house. Then again my husband’s family are very working class and I think that when and where my FIL +MIL were growing up (50 yrs ago in Qatif), women didn’t work and it was still quite a traditional lifestyle.

    In Saudi, I think the only thing that is essential depending on one’s lifestyle is a driver to use two to three times a week or to help take the kids to school in the morning. In most cases, maids are not needed and it’s just the mother teaching the kids how to sit on the couch or go shopping all day – nothing productive.

    I remember watching a doco once where there was a Saudi house and in the front courtyard, there was a tiny door built into the exterior wall – for the maid’s room!! Wth??? In this house, the maid wasn’t even to live in the main house! Eugh it drives me insane, it’s such a cycle of laziness.

    • Yah, I agree…I think if anything its more worthwhile to have a driver to aid in getting people where they need to go.

  7. I agree with Um Khadim. For me it’s inhuman to have a double standard attitude towards maid because they are not servants like in those jahiliyyah days. My sister has a nanny to look after her youngest daughter and her job is only to take care of my niece. She does not have to cook or clean but she volunteered to clean the house, even my mom’s house whenever she’s free. We treat her like our own family. For a big family with both parent working, I agree with having maid. Other wise, everyone would be lazy in that family.

  8. The only experience I have ever had with maids was in Indonesia in the early 1980′s. My then husband’s family had a couple of maids who had been with the family for years – had been sent to school as part of their wages (they came to the family as children), and sent home each Eid for a holiday with their family with a bonus.
    The maids were referred to as ‘Pembantu’ meaning helper and although they worked hard, my mil and sil’s used to work in the home too (it was a large family). The helpers were valued members of the family.
    I later discovered the helpers were in fact distant relatives who had fallen on hard times and this was a way of helping the family without seeming to be giving handouts.

    • Frankly, the older way of families having maids was…I think much better. Usually the maids were treated like members of the families they lived with and many came to the families as babies or even children. Maybe not ideal, but they were treated like a member of the family and usually stayed with the family their entire life. Also, things were harder then so everyone chipped in. The way its done now is NOT like this. You dont need to walk 2 miles to a well for water or hand wash an entire families laundry or make everyones clothing from scratch. Its just not like that nowadays in most places. So where is the need? Anisah, what your saying was the norm awhile ago in most societies.

      • I agree things are not the same any more.

        I know from my Sister, who married a Malay, and lives in Malaysia.

        Her mil and fil had Indonesian servants who were not only expected to clean house etc, but also care for fil who had dementia and the associated problems. Although the girls ate with the family and lived in the family home, they were expected to perform FAR above and beyond the family in caring for mil and fil. Sadly both (mil and fil) are now deceased (Peace be upon them). I do not know what has happened to these girls now their ‘job’ has gone.

        My sister had a girl come in a couple of times a week when she had 2 small children, to help with the cleaning and washing. Since her children started school, she has been doing it all herself.

        Things are very different these days..

  9. Mmmmp, talk about some “un-Islamic” behavior. What ever happened to treating “servants” with kidness and compassion. I’m ashamed of hearing this, yours is not the first post I have read about this. :( May Allah guide them.

  10. I saw this behavior myself when some people from the gulf were students at my college I was attending and hired a maid/nanny and brought her over with them. I was appalled at how they treated her. It wasn’t that they yelled at her or beat her, but they just acted like she had no wants or desires, was too “simple” to warrant or deserve the same things they themselves wanted or needed, and they didn’t talk to her like a human, just as a servant. That poor lady was over here all alone, not speaking the language, no family, etc., and no one to talk to all day, not well paid, etc. And they didn’t really need her. Lots of people here go to school and raise a baby. They weren’t even trying to work at the same time, they were only students. I felt it was so unIslamic the way they behaved on this matter, but they just couldn’t see it, they didn’t seem to get it. This particular couple was from Qatar and otherwise in most ways seemed the nicest people, but this was so inculturated into them they were blind to all the points you made. They really saw the world as having different statuses of people and really seemed to think that not all people had similar needs/wants/worth, etc. It was shocking.

  11. I totally agree with you. Just want to add if some women who are concerned read this:
    If you are a stay-at-home, it’s YOUR JOB to clean your house and take care of your childs. I can’t believe that you accept that a nanny, maybe no-muslim or who has maybe a deficient religion raise your own childs . When i think about all the women here who work like men and find the time to clean by themselves and have a perfect house…
    An other thing is that I absolutely cant’ imagine having a life like: Give orders to maids and nannies, go to the mall, sleep, go to the mall, eat, go to the mall, spend money. I don’t understand how someone can be happy to have this life… Here the muslimas who choose to stay at home, clean their house, take care of their childs and sometimes, even do “school at home” MachaAllah. They also learn a lot about religion and teach to their childs. And don’t show themselves everyday and all day in malls.

    • Yup, sister thats 100% HOW I feel. I mean as a SAHM its your JOB to take care of the house and the children. Thats what a “homemaker” does…and its a full-time job just like any other. Even more so!

      Having the occasional “mommies helper” is one thing, or helping a poorer woman out by paying her to come and help you clean/cook is one thing as well…or even maybe have someone who comes every day to clean while both parents work…to me, thats perfectly acceptable and quite normal. After all, women have always helped each other out with household chores and childrearing…but the way it works here is far far from this and is something all together different! And yes, many women work 1-2 jobs, have kids and then come home and cook and keep a spotless house. Just because one doesnt have a maid doesnt mean their house is dirty.

      Imagine siting on the sofa watching TV while the maid brings in all the groceries and puts them away…its just not right.

  12. I saw how the maids were treated in the UAE, not only by the Emiratis but many expats also would get into the habit also of treating servants like non-humans. As a teacher I thought it was very damaging to the children because the maids weren’t trained nannies. Their main function was to keep the children quiet so they wouldn’t bother their parents, so even the littlest infant was stuffed full of junk food and given whatever they wanted – no discipline or reasonable expectations at all, but worst of all, there was no consist loving relationship with an adult who truly cared for them. Not a happy place to teach.

  13. I don’t understand this at all! I would LOVE to have the luxury of being a stay-at-home-mom and being able to have more time to be with my daughter, and more time to better clean my home and make fancier meals for my family. As a stay-at-home, it seems like it’s that woman’s duty to take care of the house and kids. It’s can be nice to hire someone to help out maybe once a week, or even daily if there’s so much to be done… But they are not replacement mothers and wives!!

  14. As salaam alaykum,

    I just wanted to note that for the Lebanese, this is not a practice they pick up when they go to Arabia or the Khaleej. It is very common (almost universal) amongst middle class and wealthy Lebanese to have maids. In Lebanon they are mostly from Sri Lanka, Ethiopia and sometimes the Afro-Lebanese (not necessarily a racial category more a dual national one) have W. African maids from their homes in Senegal or Ivory Coast.

    Shamefully, there are lots of stories and human rights reports about the abuses maids suffer in Lebanon. I don’t think it’s any better there than the Khaleej. Though Lebanon has now been shamed into “working on” the issue and I hear it’s improved *a little* over the last 15 years or so.

    Honestly, I think the treatment of maids is a cultural one and, once again, fairly universal. Remember that up until a 100 years ago (give or take some depending on the country) slavery had been the norm in most societies for centuries. While many workers may now get cash, many employers still have a slave/master mentality. I think this is more true for countries that got rid of slavery more recently AND have not had any sort of civil rights and/or workers rights movements.

  15. I also wanted to note that I have no issue with anyone having a maid for any reason. The mistreatment is the heart of the issue and not the fact that people who we deem “lazy” have maids.

    The truth is that these positions provide real help to desperate families and there is nothing but honor in a good, honest buck earned to maintain a family’s needs and dignity. If I could afford to pay just wages, I’d hire a maid in a minute because I know those kinds of positions can be life savers for women in need and it doesn’t require a ton of expensive education.

  16. it really is quite sad that is is the case with many countries, even when i was living on south Africa everybody i knew including other students wives had maids. it made me really uncomfortable seeing the interactions between maids and their employers.
    they were always so harsh and quick to criticize.
    i remember when one sisters maid had to go back to her town because her brother had died and when she didn’t return the next day they were freaking out because they had to do things them self (like the rest of us) i tried to explain that non Muslims don’t bury their dead straight away sometimes, also bare in mind the maid had young children she had left behind in order to make a living and this would have been the first time she would have seen them in a long time. but there was nothing i could say to make this lady see how ridiculous she was behaving and well it was really eating at me so i burst out with “you wouldn’t even do half of the stuff you make her do”
    that being said i think some people do treat their maids well and the only i would ever consider getting a maid is if for what ever reason i couldn’t keep up with the house work and i needed some help and if i could pay her what i think she deserves which is alot more than what most maids get paid.

  17. I have been to Sudan and Saudi; and the two are worlds apart in their attitudes to and treatment of home-helps. In Sudan very, very few people; even wealthy people have live-in staff, the Sudanese are very proud of being self-sufficient and to have live-in staff would be like admitting they cannot be bothered to do the work themselves. The brother who we went with; his brother-in-law was head of the bank of Sudan at the time; even he did not have live-in servants; instead he had a guy who helped with the cooking, driving, garden and laundry; but he helped with it; he didn’t do it all himself. This guy was so familiar with the family he would sit with them at mealtimes and laugh and joke that I thought he was a relative. Also while in Sudan you get the occasional person who has servants from the far east or other countries; most people have servants that Sudanese and they do see and treat them as equals. Over there even the people in the shanty towns have someone who comes in and helps out; but they generally are paid fairly and treated like part of the family.

    In Saudi I saw the total opposite; and I’ve seen it here in the UK as well (a lot of Saudis come to the UK for work, study or just prolonged vacations), once I went to a sisters’ camp at a centre in the midlands and a number of Saudi families (who were meant to leave a few days earlier but decided not to; even though they had agreed) were there as well. They all had servants; mainly from Indonesia and The Phillipines; when you went past them and said ‘salaams’ only the servant would return the salaams; the Saudi ladies would just ignore you. The kids of these Saudi families were so used to doing what they wanted that they trashed up the games room, even ripping up and damaging the carpets; took all the pool balls and cues and threw them all over the grounds where they could never be seen again; and damaged the playing surfaces on the basketball court. They also messed up the bathrooms in the accomodation in a really disgusting way; and even though the mess could physically be cleaned (and some poor sisters ended up doing it as these Saudis were not going to clean up their own mess anytime soon) the smell just wouldn’t go away.

    My husband grew up in Saudi for a good few years and even when financially things were great and his dad was an oil exec; there was no way they would have a maid or a servant, he said once he went to this Princes house; and he was just completely shocked by the fact the maid would do everything and no-one from the family would even get up from their seat. My husband’s grandma on his dad’s side did have a servant that she loved and trusted dearly, but she turned out to be mentally disturbed and murdered my husband’s grandma when she got remarried to someone else after my husband’s grandfather died. There are a lot of cases like this; I would be scared to have someone in my home because you can never truly know someone.

  18. As a Muslim brother whose mother is a janitor, I can’t imagine living with a woman who would dare even ask for a maid, let alone treat *anyone* in this way.

    And as a single Muslim man I’ve cleaned my own room/apartment and cooked my own food for years (full-time undergraduate student). I also consistently worked part-time, and full-time in the summers.

    What I’ve read here makes me almost physically sick. And as someone looking for marriage, I PRAY I don’t come across “Muslim” “women” like this.

    And if these “men” are too cowardly to demand better treatment on behalf of their wife’s maid, then those two deserve each other! To think these are the men women here aspire to go run off with…

    Personally, I can’t wait until the oil runs dry. Allah never forgets injustice, no matter how small, and His retribution is swift. Ameen. : )

  19. I have seen this all with my own eyes..It is all stupid. Perhaps they still live in the stone age with slaves

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